THE BLOG

Take Full Responsibility for the Culture You Have Created

This is an area where many men get stuck. It takes tremendous courage, depth and insight; as well as ruthless honesty to look at where you have been neglectful, unconscious, selfish, stingy and maybe even downright abusive. Most will not have the constitution to truly look at how they have created, or at the very least, allowed an unhealthy culture to take hold in their love dynamics. It requires the skill of being able to hold to a firm truth in the face of resistance—without closing—that most have not cultivated. As a result, most men will either push too hard and try to impose their will by blaming, shaming, or dominating their partners; or they will quietly ignore the most important issues of the relationship and turn their attention elsewhere, where they are more apt to win. But eventually the dysfunction will get revealed and often by that time, the partners no longer see each other as healing lovers, but more like angry combatants.